Janet Gallin

I was raised in the clear air of the Hollywood Hills in the days when pregnancy tests involved the death of rabbits, before "smog" was a word, when street parking was plentiful and empty weed-filled lots dotted Wilshire Boulevard. I tell you this only to say I am no newcomer to Planet Earth. I don’t like to brag, but I do think experience is worth something. My time in San Francisco started 52 years ago with U.C. Berkeley, graduation, marriage and work as a juvenile probation officer for Alameda County. Life morphed from one stage to the next; two daughters (I wanted ten just like them but was advised not to be greedy), a stint as a fund-raiser for non-profits, single motherhood (hardly my goal, but I discovered that taking responsibility is uplifting and changes daily routine into endless adventure and infinite-loop joy) and then twenty-five years ago a lovely remarriage. I have always been hooked on the miracle of both spoken and written communication and a sucker for clarity. And, I lean toward the bright side of any story. So my course finally became clear. Writing that reflects a life in its truest light; the good, the bad, the funny, the sad and always the hopeful. I have for the past 24 years written personal and family histories most often in verse form (harder to write but easier to digest) to put the thoughts and feelings of others onto paper, written speeches, obituaries, eulogies, roasts, entertainment pieces, and guidance in writing emotionally difficult letters. But all work and no play makes Janet a dull cookie, so there is dancing (clogging - American percussive), playing the violin (badly but con brio), cooking, entertaining, reading, friends, family and my two heaven-sent daughters who have by example taught me most of what I know about life. I hope I have taught them half as much. For the past many years, I have hosted a radio talk show called Love Letters Live and have written a column for the Examiner.com by the same title. The joy of letting others shine is incomparable. I am very grateful that I have been able to translate this into a life's work.

Articles:

Condolence Letter on the Death of a Pet

I have watched people go through loss of a loved pet and can see how hard it is to say goodbye to those four-legged members of our families. Having seen friends through this heartbreak of having had to say goodbye to the very family member who loved constantly and without question, kept their children safe, guarded them from danger and brought joy into the home, I realized how important it is to send a love letter of condolence to families who are suffering this particular grief. Rosie’s death was a wrenching change, an agonizing absence and called for a memorial […]

Read More

The Eulogy as Love Letter

When we think of the kindest things we can do for a parent whose time on earth is coming to an end, I wonder how many of people think of a love letter that will serve as the eulogy. It is not easy to watch a parent weaken, and in the world of what to do to bring joy and peace of mind, we often think of physical comfort and pleasure. For me, a love letter is the best answer. A love letter, of course, is one that focuses on someone’s finest qualities, the happiest memories and the valuable lessons […]

Read More

The Magic of a Love Letter to the Dying

I got a wonderful lesson in the value of writing love letters to the dying on my last visit to M, my friend of forty years plus, who had, at that time, only a few days to live despite every evidence that she would live to be one hundred and twenty. She was a politically active and effective professional, had limitless energy, traveled, loved her husband, children and grandson, entertained beautifully and enjoyed what the world had to offer. She had shiny black hair. Eyes, ditto. Her complexion was flawless and her smile bewitching. She was among those whose personal […]

Read More

Losing a Friend, Finding Her Son Years Later

Carol and I slipped thoroughly and whole-heartedly into each other’s lives when we were 12 and she transferred to into my Junior High School. She was funny, emotionally brave, self-governing, welcoming, gorgeous, incapable of self-absorption and enthusiastic about life. She was one of my 5 best friends. Ever. We traveled through our adolescent lives together and there was no question that “forever” was ours. There was not a joy or woe she did not share with me, and her plentiful sorrows were delivered as information only and never complaint. She knew she was entitled to more than she had in […]

Read More

After Husband’s Suicide, Joy of Living Eventually Returns

When I got the call that my husband had died, the only sound I could hear was a piercing wail making its way with disturbing efficiency throughout the house. That shriek was an immovable savage that sucked the air out of me and left me trying to focus on where I was. I was confused for what seemed like an eternity and then, although it was a voice I had never heard before, I realized the shriek was mine. I stopped screaming only because I ran out of breath. My daughters then 14 and 10, having mistaken my shrieks for […]

Read More